Yoga on a Saturday
January 19, 2019
I remember those early days after loss, when I used to go to yoga just to cry. It was a safe, quiet space, and most people didn’t judge me. It was a release.
Yoga
075 – Tue, Jan 9, 2018, 10:04 PM
January 1, 2019
When I think of thankfulness, all I can think of is the time I had with you. The whispered conversations. The whoosh of your first movements. The tactile knowledge of your hands, and your face, and your very active feet.
044 – Thu, Oct 12, 2017, 6:52 PM
October 1, 2018
I live with this anger, this endless rage. I lay still in yoga, but all the time I want to scream.
Physical Body After Stillbirth
June 1, 2018
One of the least-talked-about aspects of stillbirth and pregnancy loss is that postpartum bodies still carry weight & produce milk, whether you have a living child or not. This is my journey with my postpartum body after stillbirth.
Coming Alive Again
June 1, 2018
Crawling out of the early days and fog of grief after the death of my child and rejoining the world is one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life.
The First Days
June 1, 2018
After Adrian’s death, I came home from the hospital to a fully furnished nursery and without a living child. I wanted nothing more than to sleep for weeks, but I had to deal with milk, and funeral planning, and all the minutiae of being postpartum without a living child.
Problems in My Pregnancy?
June 1, 2018
With the benefit of hindsight, I can look back on my pregnancy and identify the signs both I am my providers should have seen before Adrian died. There were multiple problems that led to his preventable stillbirth.
My Seventh Trimester Body
May 4, 2018
I have never struggled with the shape of my body; it’s just not something that has ever bothered me. But when my son died in my 41st week of pregnancy, I learned there were so many more components to the body image equation. I had a postpartum body and no living child.
8 Feb 2018 – Prickly
February 8, 2018
Sometimes I need comfort, and I lash out instead. I am not your typical victim. I am so very angry.
Everything Happens.
January 15, 2018
Everything happens, but not for a reason—It is wrong to spread the idea that everything in this life is normal; that everything we experience is necessary; that everything is okay. Violence is not okay. Rape is not okay. A child’s death is never okay. Sometimes, (often!) there genuinely is no reason
Nature Isn’t Perfect
January 15, 2018
One hundred years ago, many pregnancy interventions didn’t exist, and I let myself believe that was the best way. I didn’t consider the other side of this story—one hundred years ago, without interventions, mothers and children often died. Nature isn’t perfect. Nature is pretty deadly.
