This page contains a collection of downloadable graphics for child loss and grief. All graphics available in multiple colors and sizes; click individual entries to view.
Child Loss and Grief
[shared_counts]Click here to return to the Resources for Bereaved Parents Homepage
Click here to return to the Resources for Support Persons Homepage
Click here to return to the Graphics Blog Homepage

“Dead” is not a dirty word (B/W)
There is a tendency in our culture to avoid talking about “negative” things like loss and death. We often use euphemisms or try to cast things in a better light. I choose not to do this. Death is not a dirty word; it simply IS.

“Good intentions” are best revealed by changing behavior you’ve been informed is hurtful
We are often asked to excuse hurtful behavior because the person had good intentions…An important corollary is that when someone has good intentions, they will want to make amends for any unintentional hurt. “Good intentions” are best revealed by changing behavior you’ve been informed is hurtful.

“Healing” from the death of my child is about as likely as regrowing a missing limb.
People like to talk about healing after loss, but “healing” from the death of my child is about as likely as regrowing a missing limb. It’s not happening.

“Positive Vibes Only”
“Positive vibes only” sounds like a great message, but it unfortunately acts as erasure of the full emotional spectrum. Authenticity is always preferable.

“Someday” is Meaningless
What you need to understand is that your loved one isn’t there right now; they are here. And here, today, they are hurting. As much as you want to point them to “someday,” it is so much more important to acknowledge where they are, today.

“Trauma is not your fault, but healing is your responsibility”
This meme has been floating around for a while, and I honestly can’t stand it. Trauma is not your fault, period. Healing is never an obligation. Telling someone they have an obligation to heal from their trauma is just another form of toxic positivity.

Adoption is not a “solution” to the “problems” of child loss or grief
Adoption is often held up as the “solution” to the “problems” of both child loss and grief. This is an unfortunate misunderstanding and oversimplification. Adoption is a beautiful thing. It is not, however, easy or automatic, or guaranteed. There is definitely no “just” about the process.

Bereaved Live in the Real World
Sometimes I feel like the bereaved live in the real world and everyone else lives in the fantasy. It’s the only way the world makes sense.

Can we talk about the phrase, “It’s not your fault”?
e loss community is divided on this subject of guilt and fault. I know many bereaved parents find comfort in the sentiment, and I don’t seek to take that away from you. I only ask that you also acknowledge that other people may feel differently.

Children. Aren’t. Replaceable
Children are not replaceable. I know you probably don’t think they are…
(DO you?)
I know you probably don’t think you can grab one baby out of a parent’s arms and then give them a different one with no consequence. (You DON’T think that, right?)
But this is what we are sometimes hearing.

Death Changes You. Permanently.
The death of my son changed me as a person more than any other event in my lifetime. The death of a loved one does that.
Death changes you. Permanently.

Death is biologically normal
I used to lean pretty naturally, thinking that everything in nature was naturally the best. Natural living; natural birthing–these things made sense to me. Humanity had been doing them for millennia. Who was I to question them?

Death isn’t something you ever “get over”
In the Before, I always thought of death as a sad experience, but one whose impact would eventually fade. I know now that you never really “get over” the death of someone you love; you can only integrate the loss and pain. And this is a process that is never-ending.

Everything is going to be fine
When someone you love is in pain, it’s natural to want to comfort them; to reassure them that everything will be okay. Unfortunately, when you are dealing with permanent changes like death, sometimes this simply isn’t the case.

Everywhere I go, someone is missing
Everywhere I go, someone is missing. It’s an absence that lives with you; a missing that remains.

Father’s Day
Fathers Day 2020: Gentle wishes for bereaved dads on Father’s Day. May the Day be Kind.

Feelings are ALWAYS valid
One of the more important things I’ve learned is that if what you’re feeling is authentic, then it’s valid, no matter what. Feelings don’t have to follow rules; they just exist.

Grief is a Passage, not a Place to Stay
I’ve seen this quote in many places, and it has always felt wrong to me. Especially if we acknowledge grief as tied intrinsically to love, then we understand that grief CAN’T be a passage; grief simply IS.

Grief is a selfish time…And it should be
People say that grief is selfish. I say that it maybe needs to be. Sometimes being selfish is the most important form of self-care possible.

Grief is not a Competition
If you ask a widow about the worst kind of grief, they are going to say it’s losing a spouse. If you ask a bereaved parent about the worst kind of grief, they are going to say it’s losing a child. And they are both correct. Grief is not a competition.

Grief is not Sadness; Sadness is not Grief
Grief is often confused with sadness, or even depression. But grief isn’t sadness, and sadness is only one facet of grief.

Grief isn’t always overwhelming
I think one of the hardest things I had to do was accept that grief isn’t always overwhelming. Sometimes it just exists, present but not always screaming.

Holidays are optional
In case you need permission—you never have to celebrate if you’re not feeling up to it. Holidays are and always can be optional. Give yourself the time and space to spend these days however you need.

I am Sea Glass Parent; Parenting my child after their death
My child’s death didn’t end our relationship. I still parent them and honor their life and memory in my life. I am a Sea Glass Parent; Parenting my child after their death.

I can’t imagine
When someone has experienced tragedy, it is common to say, “I can’t imagine” how they are feeling. But the truth is, you can. Please take a moment and try.

I Deserve Enthusiastic Support Both in Life and Grief
When someone is important in your life, you shouldn’t have to wait for them to “come around” to acknowledge and respect the things that are important to you. You deserve enthusiastic support from the very beginning. I do too. I deserve enthusiastic support, both in life and in grief.

I Did not Have “A Stillborn”
My child isn’t “a stillborn”. The term makes it seem as if he is an abstract concept; a “thing”. He’s a child, though. He was BORN. He had a funeral. He HAS a name. When I speak about him, I use the term “stillborn” as an adjective: My son is a stillborn CHILD; an individual person; a human being.

I have grown as person through the death of my son, But I would give up everything I’ve gained to have not had a reason to
I think our culture idealizes those who use their loss or pain as an impetus for personal growth. While I don’t object to how anyone else chooses to live after loss, I do think it’s important to acknowledge that no matter how much growth is achieved, it is NEVER worth the cost. I would certainly give it all up to have my son at home.

I know how you feel
Humans are hardwired to find points of comparison. It’s how we build community. It makes us feel less alone. In some cases, though, comparison feels minimizing. This is especially the case in loss. This is something to say instead.

I miss the days when I still believed all you needed was a good attitude
Before Adrian died, I was a relatively positive person. His death shattered my belief and confidence in the ultimate goodness of the world.

I too used to believe tragedy was the thing that happened to other people.
Before Adrian died, I always thought of tragedy and loss as something that happened to OTHER people, but not to me. Of course I feel differently now.

I will always wish I could have known the color of his eyes
One of the things that isn’t often talked about is that stillborn babies are (usually) born with their eyes closed. And although I explored every inch of Adrian’s body, I couldn’t bring myself to force open his eyes. They will always be a mystery for me.

I Wish Someone Had Told Me Stillbirth Was So Common
I was educated & open to new information, & I thought I knew everything…And then the nightmare that is stillbirth rose up & broke me. Despite my curiosity, I was hit by the fact that NO ONE in my world had thought to tell me that stillbirth was SO VERY COMMON. 1 in 160. It’s a freaking emergency.

I’m lighting a candle in honor of my child (Customizable!)
15 October is International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. By lighting a candle from 7-8pm in your local time zone, bereaved parents and families create a “wave of light” that travels around the world. Customize this graphic to honor your child lost too soon.

I’m upset with movies and TV shows for making me think grief was just a phase
I didn’t have much experience with death or grief prior to the death of my son, and so I’m embarrassed that I genuinely used to believe everything was “okay” right after the funeral. This is how it’s often portrayed on TV. This is wrong.

If a bereaved parent feel guilt or blame about their loss…
If a bereaved parent feels guilt or blame about their loss, simply telling them not to feel that way is not a solution. Feelings don’t work that way.

If you genuinely want to comfort a bereaved person, remove these words from your vocabulary
We default to these standard phrases when seeking to comfort others in pain. Unfortunately, these phrases actually make the pain worse..

In an alternate reality, I’m planning my child’s Xth Birthday Celebration (Customizable!)
How might we celebrate our deceased childrens’ birthdays if they were still here? Having a large party? Going to the beach? These are just some of the things we are permanently missing, both on their birthdays and always.

It is ALWAYS time for grieving
I know this isn’t the intention, but this passage in Ecclesiastes 3:4 kind of rubs me the wrong way. Why must there be a time for grieving, or any of these things? Why can’t the time be always? There is time for everything under the sun. It is ALWAYS time for grieving.

It’s not your job to make other people feel comfortable
People are going to feel uncomfortable about death and grief…It’s not your job to comfort people who become discomfited by hearing your story. That’s on them.

It’s okay to not be okay (as long as you don’t stay that way)
It’s a common saying: “It’s okay to not be okay as long as you don’t stay that way.” I disagree. Why do we put a time limit on reality? It’s only when we recognize that ALL feelings are valid, that we have the space we need to make genuine change. And even then, change is optional. It has to be.

Laughter doesn’t mean the grief is over
Something I wish people understood is that it’s possible to laugh while you’re dying inside. Laughter doesn’t mean the grief is over. The two things can exist simultaneously.

Losing a child at ANY age is hard
It doesn’t matter how far along you were. It doesn’t matter if there was anything “wrong” with the baby or if he or she would not have been compatible with life. It doesn’t even matter how many other children you have, either before or after your loss. You are ALWAYS allowed to feel what you need.

Loss taught me what the relationships in my life are made of
It was months after Adrian’s death, and I was sitting on the couch, trying to focus on mindless TV. It was the point after death where sympathy had mostly evaporated. And I didn’t want casseroles, but damn—I was lonely!

My child died, and I am thoroughly uninterested in being “strong” about it
Growing up, I heard the words “be strong” a lot…And maybe this is something I have internalized. This sense of false stoicism, where emotions are suspect.

My child should have been going back to school this week too (Customizable!)
As bereaved parents, it’s natural to think about the lives our children would have lived. My son would have been a preschooler this year; what about your child?

My child should have been starting school this month (Customizable!)
My son Adrian would have been starting preschool this year. This experience is yet one more of the things that stillbirth stole from our family. What about your child?

My feelings are authentic and I own them completely
I’ve been running into a trend recently when I talk about Adrian’s death, especially when I share more “uncomfortable” feelings such as anger or regret. People seem to feel like they need to urge me to find peace or to otherwise feel differently. I wish more people understood the power in authenticity; in feeling whatever and however one needs.

My pain has a purpose
I understand your intentions in wanting to take away my pain. It’s hard to see someone you love hurting. It’s hard to acknowledge there’s nothing you can do. What I need you to understand: (My) pain has a purpose. It speaks to the love I hold for my child. In seeking to take it away, you take away my love as well. You take away ME.

Neither Death nor Grief are “Reasonable”
I’ve seen so many people begin a post about grief with phrases like, “This may sound odd,” or “Sorry if this is weird.” I’ve decided I’m going to stop doing that. Grief doesn’t have to be reasonable. Death certainly isn’t.

Often all I need is for you to listen
Often, when I share about my deceased child, that’s all I’m looking for: An ear. A person to open their heart to experience. Someone to take a moment in their day to read and acknowledge, without trying to analyze me.

Parenting in Loss; Sharing about my Deceased Child
Sharing about my deceased child doesn’t mean that I’m stuck or broken or even that I am hurting. It simply means I am a parent.

Planning your Baby’s Funeral or Memorial Service (Printable brochure and checklist)
As a companion to our comprehensive guide on planning a funeral or memorial service for your child, below are two printable documents to help in the funeral planning process. Please feel free to print and share wherever they may be useful.
![The month of October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness month. Honoring all children lost too soon, including my child: [fill in the blank] - Sea Glass Parenting](https://adrianselephantpanda2.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/30130345/Pregnancy-And-Infant-Loss-Awareness-Month-In-Honor-Of-My-Child-1-3.jpg)
Please Honor my Child during Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month (Customizable!)
The month of October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. During this month, bereaved parents encourage everyone to learn about pregnancy loss and infant loss, and to remember and honor all children lost too soon.

Prayer is appreciated…when it has been invited
After Adrian died, many people close to me offered to pray. I generally don’t find comfort in thoughts of a higher power myself, but I understand the desire to want to pray as a means to demonstrate care. If you are ask permission before offering prayer, it is generally going to be okay. I certainly appreciate the intentions behind it, especially when paired with consent.

Someone should be building a snowman today (Customizable!)
Snowballs and sledding and all of the mid-winter fun, but one person’s snowman is missing. These are downloadable graphics you can use to honor and share about your deceased child/ren during winter.

Sometimes I almost “forget” he is gone
Four years out from Adrian’s death, and sometimes it almost feels “normal” to me. New homes; new jobs; and an energetic little one running around—it could almost be a different lifetime.

Sometimes I miss that initial innocence
I used to be so incredibly naïve. I used to believe all you needed was a positive attitude, and things would just—work out. Sometimes they don’t, though. And positivity is still being pushed as this mindless cure to what isn’t a disease. Positivity is meaningless without authenticity.

Sometimes it Just Needs to Suck
It feels like we are conditioned to look on the bright side of every dark situation, but sometimes there isn’t one. Sometimes, things just need to suck

Sometimes, I’m just—Tired
Sometimes; some days, I am just — tired. An exhaustion that goes beyond the surface. An exhaustion that is more than just physical.

Still/Always
STILL grieving? Yes, I am still grieving. I am still grieving, because the work of grief is never done. I am still grieving, because I put into my grief what I cannot put into life with my son. I am still grieving, because he is STILL, and will always, be dead...

Support can be awkward and still be helpful
“I’m here if you ever want to sit in awkward silence.”
As odd as it sounds, this is one of the most supportive messages I received after the death of my son.

Survivor’s Bias
Survivor’s bias is a logical fallacy that equates the experience of those who survived an experience with “proof” that such an experience is safe. It’s a fallacy, because it implies that one person’s positive outcome is automatically going to apply for everyone, but this isn’t true.

Talking about my dead child isn’t a “sad” thing
People who haven’t dealt with tragedy are often made uncomfortable by any mention of the life that remains. It’s as if there is this irrevocable connection between my son’s death and his existence; as if these things are forever entwined instead of merely adjacent.

Thankful AND Grieving, at the Same Time
I am thankful for my daughter and also missing my son at the same time. Both feelings can exist, simultaneously.
Thankfulness is not a cure for grief
It is common in loss circles to talk about finding thankfulness in the life we have left. There are so many things wrong with this sentiment. The biggest problem is that it assumes the bereaved can’t be thankful and grieving at the same time. The other main problem is the unspoken assumption that thankfulness is a “cure” for grief. It isn’t.

Thanksgiving can be hard when you’re grieving
We can sometimes feel a heavy cultural obligation to find a silver lining in every loss, and to hold onto the adage that there is always something to be thankful for. he truth, though, is that this isn’t always the case.

The Bereaved Don’t Always Have Words Either
Almost 4 years in this community, and I can identify most of the wrong things to say. I write scripts and stories. I try to make things better for other people. And sometimes, still, when it comes to those I care about, words fail me.

The Body Keeps a Calendar Separate from the Mind
I have continually been surprised by the way my body reacts to various anniversaries surrounding Adrian and his death. Sometimes they are “important” things like his birth or due date, but sometimes they are just random Tuesdays. It reminds me that regardless of the days we consider most relevant, the body keeps a calendar of its own.

There are stockings missing this Christmas (Customizable!)
There are stockings missing this Christmas; voices missing in this house. There are memories we should be making, and more cheer shared around the tree.

There is no Asterisk to the things Allowed in Grief
It’s something I experienced, early in my grief: Do what you need, *but understand that eventually you will have to stop grieving and move on. And man, does this hurt! Because who defines this concept of “too much” of anything? Is it really possible to have too much grief? I don’t think so.

Thinking of those who are missing this Thanksgiving (Customizable!)
Thanksgiving can be hard when you’re grieving, especially when the one who is gone is your child. These are customizable graphics you can use to honor and share about your deceased child/ren during the Thanksgiving season.

This Halloween there are Pumpkins missing in our house (Customizable!)
Missing my pumpkin this Halloween and all round; these are customizable graphics to remember your deceased child or children during Halloween.

This is my Xth Mothers Day. Thank you for remembering me. (Customizable!)
Mothers Day can be a complicated holiday when one of more of your children is deceased. This customizable graphic offers multiple ways to share with your loved ones that you do consider yourself to be a mother, and are thankful to be remembered and honored on this day.
![This random act of kindness performed in memory of : [fill in the blank]. Please pass the kindness along to help keep their memory alive.](https://adrianselephantpanda2.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/18095256/Act-Of-Kindness-In-Memory-Of-Card-2.png)
This random act of kindness performed in memory of… (Customizable RAK cards)
One of the sweetest ways to honor a deceased love one is to perform a random act of kindness in their memory. Use these downloadable cards to help in spreading kindness around the world.

Time doesn’t heal anything, not by itself
They said time heals, but they lied. Time doesn’t heal. It’s only a measure of the length of the process.

Tragedy is not a one-time event
Tragedy is not a one-time event. It happens over and over again–every morning; every milestone; every holiday. Every new experience is touched by the loss. In every experience, something is missing.

Trigger Warning
Please think, before you request a trigger warning, if the unpleasant sensation is worse for you than it is for the person speaking. You may find it “triggering” to hear about the death of my child. Imagine how much harder it is to live with it.

We need to talk about grief
We need to talk about grief.
We need to talk about death & the fact that it happens.
We need to talk about relationships & how they don’t go away even when someone dies.
We need to talk about the realities of loss & the complexities inherent in planning a life for someone who never gets to live it.

What doesn’t kill you…Still hurts like a bitch
We’ve always been told that what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger, but I don’t think this makes sense. Sometimes, the things that don’t kill us immediately still affect us strongly in other ways.

When my child died, I thought about Suicide
When my son died, I thought about suicide. It’s not that I wanted to die, per se; more that I didn’t know how to go on living. How did I make sense of life again? How did I function in a world in which I barely knew my name?

Yes, you can parent a child even after their death…#SeaGlassParenting
Before Adrian died, I don’t know that I would have understood this, but it is absolutely possible to parent a child after their death. It looks a little different. It’s still very real. #SeaGlassParenting

You are always allowed to feel how you feel
Pain and grief can make outsiders uncomfortable, and sometimes they may urge you to heal and be your positive self again. This is a reminder that you are always allowed to feel however you need to.

You are under no obligation to be healed
There is often this perception that healing is a required part of the process of grief. I don’t believe this is true. Healing is and must always be the choice of the individual.

You’re so Strong!
How do you respond to the phrase, “You’re so strong” when you feel like you’re anything but? People tell me I’m strong, but I feel like I’m dying inside.