Reality of life after the loss of a child (Archives)

Reality of life after the loss of a child

Fully-furnished but empty nurseries; breasts swollen with milk and no baby to feed; the bittersweet feelings of baby showers and friends’ announcements—these are some of the realities of life after the death of a child.

Sea Glass Writing Prompt for bereaved families: The biggest difference between my life Before and After the death of my child… The bereaved often speak of life being divided into Before and After the death of their loved one. In your life after loss, what do you see as the biggest difference between today and the Before? What physical changes do you see? What emotional changes? What changes to your surrounding and scenery? How do you feel about these changes? How does this affect you?

The biggest difference between my life Before and After the death of my child… (SG Writing Prompt)

January 16, 2022

The bereaved often speak of life being divided into Before and After the death of their loved one. In your life after loss, what do you see as the biggest difference between today and the Before? What physical changes do you see? What emotional changes? What changes to your surroundings and scenery? How do you feel about these changes? How does this affect you?

Sea Glass Writing Prompt for bereaved families: One day I would like to… How do you feel about the future? Is it something you look forward to, or something you'd prefer to avoid? How do you see yourself in the future? Is there anything you'd like to accomplish, or anywhere you'd like to see? What is one thing you would like to do or be or feel or see?

One day I would like to… (SG Writing Prompt)

January 16, 2022

How do you feel about the future? Is it something you look forward to, or something you’d prefer to avoid? How do you see yourself in the future? Is there anything you’d like to accomplish, or anywhere you’d like to see? What is one thing you would like to do or be or feel or see?

Sea Glass Writing Prompt for bereaved families: In life after loss, I feel torn between… The bereaved often feel as if they are torn between different aspects of their lives after loss. If you feel torn, what aspects are pulling at you? Do you find yourself conflicted between happiness and grief, or between moving forward and standing still? What feelings are you torn between? What thoughts? What dreams?

In life after loss, I feel torn between… (SG Writing Prompt)

January 16, 2022

The bereaved often feel as if they are torn between different aspects of their lives after loss. If you feel torn, what aspects are pulling at you? Do you find yourself conflicted between happiness and grief, or between moving forward and standing still? What feelings are you torn between? What thoughts? What dreams?

We don’t have to meet every deadline. We don’t have to greet every day with a perfect smile. Some days require all of my energy to throw back the covers and put my feet on the floor. And on those days, that is my something. And on others, I have learned to bargain. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

You are under no obligation to greet every day with a smile

November 13, 2021

I used to feel so much pressure to perform; to meet a certain standard at work and in life. And the worst part was, the bulk of this pressure was internal; something I demanded of myself. And then my son died, and I realized I didn’t have it in me to keep up with these illusory standards.

Toy bunny sitting in baby safety seat (Pixelshot)

Take Home Baby

March 30, 2021

I cradled her head delicately, supporting her, and felt pride in her heft, her fully developed form, this tiny human we had created together. “Is this what being a father feels like?” Then I placed her tenderly in the hospital cart, and watched as the nurse dutifully rolled her away.

It Doesn’t Always Have to be a NEW Beginning

December 31, 2020

Sometimes I think we can get caught up in the idea of a new year being a fresh start. We look forward to everything being different on 1 January. But will it be? Are we leaving this pandemic and the rest of our lives behind us? Or do we carry these things with us into each new day?⁠

Dried wild plants in North Lake Tahoe, California (Miranda Hernandez)

Growing, Evolving…And Also Staying the Same

December 29, 2020

I am a growing and evolving creature. I am a grieving mother, and I am ALSO so many other things. And this is where I am today–exactly who and where I need to be. And I am both messy and complicated and also uniquely human. And I love being able to accept that and just be okay.⁠

An open laptop on a desk with bluebonnet flowers on the right and photos of a mother and child on the left (Miranda Hernandez)

Blogs & Instagram Accounts about Child Loss & Grief

September 29, 2020

Reading other people’s experiences made me feel less alone after my son’s death. The 95 blogs listed here all have at least five blog posts, with at least one written in the past year. The Instagram accounts all have at least 2000 followers or a unique perspective on child loss or grief.