Help and support after the death of a child (Archives)

Sunset on the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

2 Jun 2018 – Peace

June 2, 2018

This year has been hard for me, but it’s been a clean kind of hard. Most people understand grief is a thing. Most people understand pain surrounding death. I don’t think most people understand what happens afterwards.

26 Feb 2018 – Nuclear Bomb Part 2

February 26, 2018

I call it a nuclear bomb. It’s a conversation ender. You meet someone, you’re making good small talk, and then they ask about your family. I will never deny my son. He is a permanent part of me. And so it happens — I tell them, “Yes, I have a child. He died shortly before he was born.” And everything stops. It’s no longer a casual conversation.

Title: A Letter to My Fellow Bereaved | overlaid on an image of the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

18 Feb 2018 – I Love You

February 18, 2018

I want to wish you happiness, but I don’t know if you want that. I didn’t want happiness after the death of my son. It felt disloyal.

Close-up on a white envelope sitting on top of a yellowed handwritten letter. The envelope looks weathered. The words, "A Letter to my Commander upon the Occasion of the Death of my Child" are superimposed on top of the image (Vlana, Getty Images)

A Letter to my Commander upon the Occasion of the Death of my Child

January 15, 2018

Dear Commander; Dear First Sergeant; Dear Supervisor—Child loss as a military member is heartbreaking, and is especially complicated by culture and expectations that bereaved parents should be “strong” when they feel most weak.⁠ ⁠This is what bereaved parents in the military would like you to know.⁠

Signs

January 10, 2018

I fight against happiness. I think that if I let myself smile, I will lose sight of my grief. I will lose him. Again.

Help and support after the death of a child (Archives)