Sage flowers in Assiniboine Park, Winnipeg, Manitoba (Miranda Hernandez)
Sage flowers in Assiniboine Park, Winnipeg, Manitoba (Miranda Hernandez)

134 – Tue, Jul 23, 2019, 1:34 PM

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It was the last night of the retreat, and I forget who had suggested it, but someone had decided we should all jump in the lake. And the water was so cold, and also amazing. And we ran back inside the lodge and jumped into the spa. And I felt just a little bit alive.

I was driving down the road on the way to therapy, and this memory came out of nowhere and I laughed out loud. I’m laughing again. There is joy, and there is pain, and there is you. There is always you. And I feel like I’m starting to see me too.

I love you.

Letters to Adrian are real letters from a mother to her stillborn child. Letters are shared here in periodic batches.

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More Letters

Street art in Victoria, British Columbia (Miranda Hernandez)

135 – Wed, Aug 28, 2019, 8:04 AM

Winter in Chicago, Illinois (Miranda Hernandez)

097 – Wed, Apr 28, 2018, 11:08 PM

Succulents in San Juan Capistrano, California (Miranda Hernandez)

086 – Tue, Feb 6, 2018, 3:52 PM

Miranda's maternity photo (Modern Lux Photography)

067 – Tue, Dec 12, 2017, 9:42 PM

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065 – Sat, Dec 2, 2017, 8:06 PM

Street art in Victoria, British Columbia (Miranda Hernandez)

094 – Fri, Apr 6, 2018, 11:46 PM

Wild Sunflower in Victoria, British Columbia (Miranda Hernandez)

035 – Tue, Sep 26, 2017 at 11:09 AM

Wildflowers in Big Sur, California (Miranda Hernandez)

090 – Sat, Feb 24, 2018, 5:12 AM

View from the venue for Adrian's memorial (Miranda Hernandez)

114 – Sun, Jun 24, 2018, 1:15 PM

Daisies (Miranda Hernandez)

091 – Sun, Mar 11, 2018, 1:10 PM

Shore of Lake Michigan, Chicago (Miranda Hernandez)

095 – Fri, Apr 13, 2018, 10:23 PM

California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

082 – Wed, Jan 24, 2018, 3:46 PM

007 – 29w6d – Cravings and a Nest

030 – Mon, Aug 28, 2017 at 6:21 AM

024 – Wed, Aug 2, 2017 at 6:13 PM

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023 – Fri, Jul 28, 2017 at 5:18 PM

006 – 20w0d – Are you dancing?

008 – 31w6d – One Last Road Trip

Kaua'i coast (Miranda Hernandez)

105 – Mon, May 14, 2018, 9:33 PM

Stream, North Lake Tahoe, California (Miranda Hernandez)

046 – Sun, Oct 15, 2017, 8:09 PM

Dark and moody sunset over the ocean in Kaua'i, Hawai'i (Miranda Hernandez)

027 – Mon, Aug 14, 2017 at 12:15 PM

Walkway on the Haruru Falls trail, Waitanga, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

120 – Thu, Jul 19, 2018, 12:47 PM

005 – 19w6d – Happy New Year

Wildflowers in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada (Miranda Hernandez)

036 – Tue, Sep 26, 2017 at 1:59 PM

Flowers in Assiniboine Park, Winnipeg, Manitoba (Miranda Hernandez)

133 – Wed, Jul 3, 2019, 11:32 AM

Waimea Canyon, Kaua'i, Hawai'i (Luna Kai Photography)

038 – Thu, Sep 28, 2017 at 9:36 AM

Koloa, Kaua'i, Hawai'i (Miranda Hernandez)

092 – Tue, Mar 20, 2018, 2:26 PM

Waves on Lake Tahoe, California (Miranda Hernandez)

085 – Fri, Feb 2, 2018, 10:09 PM

California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

088 – Thu, Feb 15, 2018, 6:40 PM

025 – Sun, Aug 6, 2017 at 12:26 AM

001 – Hello

Miranda and Adrian's Elephant

104 – Sun, May 13, 2018, 3:04 PM

Miranda and Adrian's Elephant at Pinecrest Lake

069 – Sat, Dec 23, 2017, 7:22 PM

Miranda and Adrian's Elephant with Bumblebee

051 – Tue, Oct 31, 2017, 5:32 PM

Iceplant on the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

080 – Sat, Jan 20, 2018, 4:09 PM

Winter in Chicago, Illinois (Miranda Hernandez)

096 – Tue, Apr 24, 2018, 11:09 PM

033 – Tue, Sep 19, 2017 at 6:35 PM

Miranda and Adrian's Elephant on the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

068 – Sat, Dec 16, 2017, 9:55 PM

Hyacinth flowers, Victoria, British Columbia (Miranda Hernandez)

059 – Wed, Nov 15, 2017, 7:52 PM

018 – Sun, Jul 9, 2017 at 1:32 PM

Adrian's Elephant and Miranda's birthday cake

061 – Wed, Nov 22, 2017, 7:01 PM

Miranda and Adrian's Elephant (Miranda Hernandez)

077 – Fri, Jan 12, 2018, 2:38 PM

Miranda holding a white onesie towards the camera

010 – 38w4d – Almost there…

Bench on the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

078 – Mon, Jan 15, 2018, 11:32 AM

Reflection in Assiniboine Park, Winnipeg, Manitoba (Miranda Hernandez)

132 – Mon, Jul 1, 2019, 9:45 PM

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071 – Mon, Dec 25, 2017, 6:45 PM

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098 – Thu, Apr 29, 2018, 8:58 PM

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118 – Fri, Jul 6, 2018, 7:43 PM

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113 – Sun, Jun 24, 2018, 1:02 AM

009 – 33w2d

Adrian's Elephant

072 – Sat, Dec 30, 2017, 10:51 AM

Peruvian lilies in San Juan Capistrano, California (Miranda Hernandez)

115 – Sat, Jun 30, 2018, 1:03 AM

Esquimalt Lagoon, Victoria, British Columbia, Canada (Miranda Hernandez)

034 – Mon, Sep 25, 2017 at 8:28 PM

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081 – Tue, Jan 23, 2018, 8:29 PM

012 – 39w6d(2) – So close!

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139 – A Letter to My Son on His Third Birthday

California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

076 – Wed, Jan 10, 2018, 11:47 AM

Dandelions over Te Ti Bay, Waitanga, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

121 – Mon, Jul 23, 2018, 9:04 PM

Tree and roots on the Haruru Falls trail, Waitanga, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

122 – Tue, Jul 24, 2018, 9:28 PM

Full moon in Texas (Miranda Hernandez)

083 – Mon, Jan 29, 2018, 5:09 AM

Pinecrest Lake, Pinecrest, California (Miranda Hernandez)

070 – Sat, Dec 23, 2017, 9:12 PM

California coast in Big Sur, California (Miranda Hernandez)

110 – Sun, Jun 3, 2018, 9:11 AM

Miranda and Adrian's Elephant at Chacchoben Mayan Ruins

053 – Sun, Nov 5, 2017, 1:07 PM

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052 – Wed, Nov 1, 2017, 8:08 PM

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109 – Sun, May 27, 2018, 8:35 PM

View from a butterfly cut-out, Assiniboine Park, Winnipeg, Manitoba (Miranda Hernandez)

130 – Thu, Jun 27, 2019, 9:31 PM

Tree in Big Sur, California (Miranda Hernandez)

057 – Tue, Nov 14, 2017, 6:28 PM

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011 – 39w6d(1) – What does Mama look like?

002 – 7w3d – Pickles and ice cream?

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087 – Wed, Feb 7, 2018, 4:16 PM

Pacific Ocean - Feature

014 – Thu, Jun 29, 2017 at 6:53 PM

028 – Wed, Aug 16, 2017 at 6:07 PM

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137 – Tue, Dec 31, 2019, 10:01 PM

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044 – Thu, Oct 12, 2017, 6:52 PM

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049 – Tue, Oct 24, 2017, 5:26 PM

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048 – Sat, Oct 21, 2017, 8:37 PM

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136 – Thu, Sep 12, 2019, 6:40 PM

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107 – Sat, May 19, 2018, 2:02 PM

Nasturtium flowers in Big Sur, California (Miranda Hernandez)

112 – Sat, Jun 16, 2018, 3:59 PM

013 – Thu, Jun 29, 2017 at 10:22 AM

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058 – Tue, Nov 14, 2017, 7:10 PM

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099 – Wed, May 2, 2018, 7:46 PM

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041 – Sat, Sep 30, 2017 at 8:30 PM

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116 – Sat, Jun 30, 2018, some time in the morning

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108 – Sat, May 26, 2018, 11:02 AM

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016 – Wed, Jul 5, 2017 at 6:58 AM

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017 – Thu, Jul 6, 2017 at 6:24 AM

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129 – Tue, Jun 25, 2019, 9:11 PM

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039 – Thu, Sep 28, 2017 at 4:16 PM

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102 – Fri, May 11, 2018, 11:56 AM

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093 – Wed, Mar 21, 2018, 4:18 PM

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126 – Fri, Mar 29, 2019, 9:39 AM

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089 – Sat, Feb 17, 2018, 3:55 PM

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037 – Tue, Sep 26, 2017 at 3:02 PM

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127 – Thu, May 2, 2019, 12:03 PM

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111 – Sun, Jun 10, 2018, 9:31 PM

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073 – Sun, Dec 31, 2017, 5:10 PM

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074 – Sun, Dec 31, 2017, 7:59 PM

026 – Sun, Aug 13, 2017 at 6:17 AM

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123 – Wed, Aug 29, 2018, 3:16 PM

Miranda's feet in the sand, New Smyrna Beach, Florida (Miranda Hernandez)

124 – Tue, Sep 4, 2018, 9:00 PM

Miranda and Adrian's Elephant on the California coast (photo used with permission)

055 – Fri, Nov 10, 2017, 6:48 PM

Sunrise over the Pacific Ocean 2 - Feature

015 – Sun, Jul 2, 2017 at 8:19 PM

Flowers on a fallen tree limb, California (Miranda Hernandez)

054 – Mon, Nov 7, 2017, 8:10 PM

View through the plants on the Haruru Falls trail, Waitanga, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

119 – Wed, Jul 18, 2018, 1:10 PM

Sunset in California (Miranda Hernandez)

060 – Fri, Nov 17, 2017, 8:02 PM

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043 – Wed, Oct 4, 2017, 7:43 PM

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022 – Fri, Jul 21, 2017 at 12:18 AM

020 – Tue, Jul 18, 2017 at 2:29 PM

031 – Fri, Sep 8, 2017 at 12:16 AM

Miranda and Elephant on the California coast

117 – A Letter to My Son on His First Birthday

Tree in snow, North Lake Tahoe, Nevada (Miranda Hernandez)

063 – Sun, Nov 26, 2017, 9:45 AM

Pier, Paihia, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

042 – Mon, Oct 2, 2017, 6:14 PM

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138 – Thu, Feb 6, 2020, 11:39 AM

029 – Tue, Aug 22, 2017 at 9:50 PM

California Coast, Big Sur (Miranda Hernandez)

045 – Fri, Oct 13, 2017, 6:25 PM

Keālia Beach, Kaua'i, Hawai'i (Miranda Hernandez)

040 – Thu, Sep 28, 2017 at 5:43 PM

Adrian's Elephant at Adrian and Miranda's old house

050 – Sun, Oct 29, 2017, 1:00 PM

Adrian's Elephant at Thanksgiving

062 – Thu, Nov 23, 2017, 1:51 PM

032 – Mon, Sep 18, 2017 at 9:24 PM

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101 – Sun, May 6, 2018, 12:13 AM

Keālia Beach, Kaua’i, Hawai’i (Miranda Hernandez)

106 – Fri, May 18, 2018, 6:18 PM

Vines, Kaua'i, Hawai'i (Miranda Hernandez)

047 – Thu, Oct 19, 2017, 4:54 PM

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