Child Loss & Grief Graphics

Words of remembrance and love for children gone too soon

I deserve enthusiastic support, both in life and in grief. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother
Customizable baby loss birthday memes: In an alternate reality, I'm planning Adrian's 5th birthday celebration - Sea Glass Parenting
I’m upset with movies and TV shows for making me think grief was just a phase. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother
This May is my 5th Mothers Day. Thank you for remembering and honoring both my children this year. - Sea Glass Parenting customizable graphics
Thanksgiving can be hard when you're grieving. It's okay if you don't feel like being thankful this year. - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother
I have grown as a person since the death of my son...But I would give up everything I’ve gained to have not had a reason to.  -Miranda Hernandez Adrian's Mother

Graphics Sorted by Title

"Dead" is not a dirty word. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

“Dead” is not a dirty word (B/W)

Notes for the support team - "Good intentions" are best revealed by changing behavior you've been informed is hurtful.

“Good intentions” are best revealed by changing behavior you’ve been informed is hurtful

“Healing” from the death of my child is about as likely as regrowing a missing limb.  -Miranda Hernandez Adrian's Mother

“Healing” from the death of my child is about as likely as regrowing a missing limb.

Original statement: "Positive vibes only." Rewritten: Authentic vibes only. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

“Positive Vibes Only”

Notes for the Support Team -  When someone is in the thick of grief, "someday" is pretty meaningless. Sit with them in the hard parts, today, instead. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

“Someday” is Meaningless

Trauma is not your fault, but healing is your responsibility. Rewritten: Trauma is not your fault.

“Trauma is not your fault, but healing is your responsibility”

Adoption is a beautiful, beautiful thing... It is not the "solution" to the "problems" of child loss or grief. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Adoption is not a “solution” to the “problems” of child loss or grief

Sometimes I feel like the bereaved live in the "real world" and everyone else lives in the fantasy. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Bereaved Live in the Real World

Everything says it's not my fault, but does it really matter? Are you any less gone?

Can we talk about the phrase, “It’s not your fault”?

Children. Aren't. Replaceable. Speech bubbles: "Don't you have other children?" "Are you guys trying?" "Things will be so much better when your new baby gets here" "My cousin adopted" "Blah blah blah"

Children. Aren’t. Replaceable

Death changes you. Permanently. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Death Changes You. Permanently.

The most biologically normal thing in the world is death. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Death is biologically normal

Death isn’t something you ever “get over”.  It’s something you integrate, and then reintegrate again  and again.  -Miranda Hernandez Adrian's Mother

Death isn’t something you ever “get over”

Notes for the Support Team - Words Matter: Original statement: Everything is going to be fine.  Rewritten: I'm not going to tell you everything is going to be fine. I understand grief is hard, and no amount of positive thinking is going to make up for the loss of your child. So I will simply tell you that I love you, and I'm here for whatever you need. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Everything is going to be fine

Everywhere I go, someone is missing - Sea Glass Parenting

Everywhere I go, someone is missing

Gentle wishes for bereaved Dads on Father's Day. May the day be kind. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Father’s Day

Feelings are always valid, Even when they aren’t rational; Even when they are "negative"; Even when other people wish you felt differently.  Feelings are always valid.  -Miranda Hernandez Adrian's Mother

Feelings are ALWAYS valid

Original Statement: Grief is a passage, not a place to stay. Rewritten: Grief IS. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Grief is a Passage, not a Place to Stay

Grief is a selfish time. But being selfish is not inherently wrong. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Grief is a selfish time…And it should be

If you ask a widow about the worst kind of grief, they are going to say it’s losing a spouse. If you ask a bereaved parent about the worst kind of grief, they are going to say it’s losing a child. ...And they are both correct. Grief is not a competition. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Grief is not a Competition

Grief isn’t sadness. Grief isn’t loss. Grief is what lives in those left behind. -Miranda Hernandez. Adrian's Mother

Grief is not Sadness; Sadness is not Grief

I think one of the hardest things I had to do was accept that grief isn't always overwhelming. Sometimes it just exists; present but not always screaming. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Grief isn’t always overwhelming

Holidays are optional - Sea Glass Parenting

Holidays are optional

I am parenting my child after their death. I am a Sea Glass Parent. - Sea Glass Parenting

I am Sea Glass Parent; Parenting my child after their death

Notes for the Support Team - Words Matter: Original statement: I can't imagine… Rewritten: Try. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

I can’t imagine

I deserve enthusiastic support, both in life and in grief. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

I Deserve Enthusiastic Support Both in Life and Grief

I did not have "a stillborn". I had a stillborn CHILD; a human being. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

I Did not Have “A Stillborn”

I have grown as a person since the death of my son...But I would give up everything I’ve gained to have not had a reason to.  -Miranda Hernandez Adrian's Mother

I have grown as person through the death of my son, But I would give up everything I’ve gained to have not had a reason to

Notes for the Support Team - Words Matter: Original statement: I know how you feel… Rewritten: I don't know how you feel, but I'm here to listen. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

I know how you feel

I miss the days when I still believed all you needed was a good attitude. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

I miss the days when I still believed all you needed was a good attitude

I too used to believe tragedy was the thing that happened to other people. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

I too used to believe tragedy was the thing that happened to other people.

I will always wish I could have known the color of his eyes. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

I will always wish I could have known the color of his eyes

I constantly wish someone had told me stillbirth was SO VERY COMMON. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

I Wish Someone Had Told Me Stillbirth Was So Common

I'm lighting a candle in honor of my son Adrian. 15 October is International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. - Sea Glass Parenting

I’m lighting a candle in honor of my child (Customizable!)

I’m upset with movies and TV shows for making me think grief was just a phase. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

I’m upset with movies and TV shows for making me think grief was just a phase

If a bereaved parent feels guilt or blame about their loss, simply telling them not to feel that way is not a solution. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

If a bereaved parent feel guilt or blame about their loss…

If you genuinely want to comfort a grieving person, remove these words from your vocabulary:  “But”, “Strong”, “Brave”, “At Least”. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

If you genuinely want to comfort a bereaved person, remove these words from your vocabulary

Customizable baby loss birthday memes: In an alternate reality, I'm planning Adrian's 5th birthday celebration - Sea Glass Parenting

In an alternate reality, I’m planning my child’s Xth Birthday Celebration (Customizable!)

There is time for everything under the sun. It is always time for grieving. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

It is ALWAYS time for grieving

Notes for the Bereaved -  It is not your job to make other people feel comfortable. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

It’s not your job to make other people feel comfortable

"It's okay to not be okay as long as you don't stay that way" Rewritten: It's okay to not be okay.

It’s okay to not be okay (as long as you don’t stay that way)

Laughter doesn't mean the grief is over - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Laughter doesn’t mean the grief is over

Notes for the Bereaved -  Losing a child at any age is hard. It doesn't matter how far along you were. It doesn't matter if there was anything "wrong" with the baby or if he or she would not have been compatible with life. It doesn't even matter how many other children you have, either before or after your loss. You are always, always, ALWAYS allowed to feel whatever and however you need.  - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Losing a child at ANY age is hard

Losing Adrian taught me what some of the relationships in my life were really made of. In some cases, it was knowledge I didn't want to know. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Loss taught me what the relationships in my life are made of

My child died and I am thoroughly uninterested in being "strong" about it.

My child died, and I am thoroughly uninterested in being “strong” about it

My son Adrian James should have been going back to school this week too. Sea Glass Parenting

My child should have been going back to school this week too (Customizable!)

My child should have been starting preschool this month. #StillbirthSucks - Sea Glass Parenting

My child should have been starting school this month (Customizable!)

My feelings are authentic and I own them completely. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

My feelings are authentic and I own them completely

My pain has a purpose. Please stop trying to take it away from me. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

My pain has a purpose

What's with this expectation that grief should be "reasonable"?  Death certainly isn't reasonable. Grieve however you need.  -Miranda Hernandez Adrian's Mother

Neither Death nor Grief are “Reasonable”

Often when I share about my deceased child, people rush to give advice or hugs. I don't always need that, though.  Often, all I really need is for you to listen. - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Often all I need is for you to listen

Sharing about my deceased child doesn't mean that I'm stuck or broken or even that I am hurting. It simply means I am a parent.

Parenting in Loss; Sharing about my Deceased Child

Image of front side of "Planning your Baby's Funeral or Memorial Service" brochure

Planning your Baby’s Funeral or Memorial Service (Printable brochure and checklist)

The month of October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness month. Honoring all children lost too soon, including my child: [fill in the blank] - Sea Glass Parenting

Please Honor my Child during Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month (Customizable!)

Prayer is appreciated… ...When it has been invited. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Prayer is appreciated…when it has been invited

Public Service Announcement: Back Up Your Photos. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Public Service Announcement: Back Up Your Photos

Someone should be building a snowman today. - Sea Glass Parenting

Someone should be building a snowman today (Customizable!)

Sometimes I almost "forget" he is gone... And that is its own kind of hurt. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Sometimes I almost “forget” he is gone

Sometimes I miss that initial innocence; the days when I thought positivity was enough to make everything go as planned. Only sometimes, though. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Sometimes I miss that initial innocence

Sometimes it just needs to suck. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Sometimes it Just Needs to Suck

Sometimes I'm just— Tired. An exhaustion that goes beyond the surface; an exhaustion that is more than just physical. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Sometimes, I’m just—Tired

Original Statement: Still Grieving? Still dead. Still a parent. Rewritten statement: Always grieving. Always dead. ALWAYS a parent.

Still/Always

"I'm here if you ever want to sit in awkward silence" - something good to say to people after tragedy

Support can be awkward and still be helpful

“I did it and I was fine.” This is called survivors bias. Your singular experience is neither proof nor promise that dangerous things won't hurt other people. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Survivor’s Bias

Talking about my dead child isn't a "sad" thing. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Talking about my dead child isn’t a “sad” thing

I am thankful for my daughter and also missing my son at the same time. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Thankful AND Grieving, at the Same Time

Thankfulness is not a cure for grief

Thanksgiving can be hard when you're grieving. It's okay if you don't feel like being thankful this year. - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Thanksgiving can be hard when you’re grieving

Even as a bereaved parent, I still don't always know the right words to say. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

The Bereaved Don’t Always Have Words Either

The body keeps a calendar completely separate from the mind. Some days just have to be felt. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

The Body Keeps a Calendar Separate from the Mind

There are stockings missing this Christmas - Sea Glass Parenting

There are stockings missing this Christmas (Customizable!)

There is no asterisk to the things that are allowed in the grief experience. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

There is no Asterisk to the things Allowed in Grief

Thinking of those who are missing this Thanksgiving and all year round. - Sea Glass Parenting

Thinking of those who are missing this Thanksgiving (Customizable!)

This Halloween there are pumpkins missing in our house - Sea Glass Parenting

This Halloween there are Pumpkins missing in our house (Customizable!)

This May is my 5th Mothers Day. Thank you for remembering and honoring both my children this year. - Sea Glass Parenting customizable graphics

This is my Xth Mothers Day. Thank you for remembering me. (Customizable!)

This random act of kindness performed in memory of : [fill in the blank]. Please pass the kindness along to help keep their memory alive.

This random act of kindness performed in memory of… (Customizable RAK cards)

Time doesn't "heal" anything, not by itself.  Medical care and self-care can be healing, if desired. Time is only a measure of the length of the process. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Time doesn’t heal anything, not by itself

Tragedy is not a one-time event. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Tragedy is not a one-time event

You may find it "triggering" to hear about the death of my child. Imagine how much harder it is to live with it. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

Trigger Warning

We need to talk about grief. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

We need to talk about grief

What doesn't kill you... ...Still hurts like a bitch. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

What doesn’t kill you…Still hurts like a bitch

When my child died, I thought about suicide - Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Elephant

When my child died, I thought about Suicide

Yes, you can parent a child even after their death. #SeaGlassParenting

Yes, you can parent a child even after their death…#SeaGlassParenting

You are always always ALWAYS allowed to feel how you feel, with no obligation to cheer up, look on the bright side, or snap out of it. Your feelings are valid and so are you. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

You are always allowed to feel how you feel

You are under no obligation to be healed—Not today, and not at any point in the future. It is always always ALWAYS okay not to be okay. -Miranda Hernandez, Adrian's Mother

You are under no obligation to be healed

Statement: You're so strong. Response: Inside I am dying.

You’re so Strong!

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