
Death Positivity is a recognition that death is real, and permanent, and natural. Death should be talked about, and never hidden or considered cause for shame.
Posts on this page deal with various aspects of this conversation about death.

30 Jan 2018 – The Second Death
She was probably the most innocent person in the room. And that’s funny, I guess, because she was so incredibly book smart.

1 Feb 2018 – Photos
In the black-and-white photos, he looks like he’s sleeping. Photos are difficult; they don’t tell the whole story.

2 Feb 2018 – Grief is a Mother, Too
Death has never been my friend. The necessity of her existence is no more comfort than my own. I don’t hate her, but I look at her the way she looks at Disease. We are all harbingers. We all bring Pain.

12 Feb 2018 – Hard Things
Because I think love includes talking about hard things. Because I think love includes telling someone, “When you fall on hard times, I am here for you. When things go terribly wrong, I won’t run away.”

18 Feb 2018 – Memories
I remember every moment of my pregnancy. I remember every moment of my son’s short life. I remember conception and ultrasounds and morning sickness. I remember every tiny kick and movement. I treasure these things. I treasure these memories.

20 Feb 2018 – Unspoken
I know what you want to talk about. I know how it pains you when others try to chase your words away. It isn’t a question of guilt. It’s fact — if you had chosen to listen, I would be alive.

21 Jun 2018 – The After
After he died, after that scream, I shattered. It wasn’t that time flowed differently. It was a completely different life.

Death and Taxes – Why the Federal Government Doesn’t Consider My Son to be a Human Being
Money is a difficult subject in general. It doesn’t surprise me, then, that money matters associated with death are doubly hard. I never thought I would be reading about the financial “benefits” of losing a child. I never thought anything like that would be relevant to me.

Necessary Fear
There really never is an appropriate time to talk about tragedy. There really never is a time when the innocent are ready to listen. And that’s sad, and it’s also wrong. Because death isn’t the thing that only happens to other people. Tragedy isn’t the thing you can ignore and it won’t hurt you.

Grieving My Child Without God
One day, someday, I will die. I don’t know what will happen then, and that’s okay with me. I don’t need confirmation or thoughts of reunification. I don’t want to be told my son waits for me in the afterlife.

Perspective of a Non-Believer Following the Death of a Child (Quora)
After my son was born, the nurses asked if I wanted a chaplain to bless him. I thought about this for many hours. I knew it wasn’t something I could change if I chose not to do. But in the end, it didn’t resonate with me. I didn’t feel a loss for not doing this for my son.

100 – Sat, May 5, 2018, 5:30 PM
Miscarriage is only what happened to my body. Stillbirth is only what happened to yours. Your death is what happened to my soul. Your death changed my whole world.

Paperwork and Taxes
Child Care is expensive. Pretty much everything involved in raising a child is expensive. I’m not complaining, though. It’s all better than the alternative.

Requests of a Bereaved Mother for All Prenatal Providers
After my son died at the end of a term pregnancy in 2017, I created this list of things I would like to see done differently in prenatal care, both before & after loss. These are things that would have made a difference in my pregnancy. These things might have kept my son alive.

130 – Thu, Jun 27, 2019, 9:31 PM
This past year has been different. You’d think the biggest part would be your sister, and of course she’s part of it. There’s also me. I’ve been developing. I’ve been learning and hiding in equal measures.

138 – Thu, Feb 6, 2020, 11:39 AM
Most days I feel “fine.” I live life and I care for your sister, and when the subject comes up, I talk about you. I love talking about you. And sometimes I feel bad, even though I know better, that I hardly cry anymore.

Why I Choose to Share Photos of My Dead Child on Social Media
Our children are not shameful. They are beautiful, real people. In my opinion, the only shame comes from the perception that they should hidden away.

Planning a Funeral for Your Infant Child
Planning the funeral for a baby who died before, during, or shortly after birth is a difficult process. Not only because the death of any child is heartbreaking, but also because logistically, the typical funeral service isn’t geared towards honoring the briefest of lives. This post is a comprehensive list of choices and options in planning a funeral for your infant child.

1 June 2020
June is an intense month for me, because each June, I relive these memories. Each June, I remember what it’s like to go into the hospital for a routine examination and be told my child has no heartbeat.