Title: Grief Olympics or Comparing Grief | overlaid on image of sunset over Lake Tahoe (Miranda Hernandez)
Grief Olympics or Comparing Grief

Special Topics: Grief Olympics or Comparing Grief

Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on pinterest
Pinterest
Share on twitter
Twitter
Share on tumblr
Tumblr
Share on reddit
Reddit
Share on whatsapp
WhatsApp
Share on print
Print
Share on email
Email
Share on facebook
Share on pinterest
Share on twitter
Share on tumblr
Share on reddit
Share on whatsapp
Share on print
Share on email

Comparing grief has never been a useful exercise for me. Each person’s worst thing is their own worst thing. My tragedy can’t lessen or lessened by anyone else’s experience.

I do realize my perspective is unusual, and I’m not going to tell anyone else that they are wrong. But here, in this space, all grief is welcome. You are welcome here, for any reason and even none at all.

 

Why Getting Pregnant Easily Isn’t a Gift

Statistics are funny. I really wish someone would do a study on the chances for real, taking into account the multiple factors that contribute to fertility. I still don’t know if I’m an anomaly, or if I just got lucky. I don’t feel lucky.

0 comments
Adrian James Hernandez Official Comment Policy, aka Things Not to Say To or About a Bereaved Parent (Miranda's Blog) | overlaid on image of wild plants (Miranda Hernandez)

Adrian’s Elephant Official Comment Policy, aka Things Not to Say To or About a Bereaved Parent

Grief is awkward, and when we talk to the bereaved, we often want to say anything at all just to fill the void. Here are some things to avoid.

0 comments
Waves on Lake Tahoe, California (Miranda Hernandez)

I Fail at Grief Olympics

What I found most interesting in my interactions with all of them, was the amount of commonality in our experiences. In how much I could identify with experiences I had previously thought were just mine.

0 comments
"I know how you feel." Rewritten: I don't know how you feel, but I'm here to listen.

“I know how you feel” (2 versions)

Humans are hardwired to find points of comparison. It’s how we build community. It makes us feel less alone. In some cases, though, comparison feels minimizing. This is especially the case in loss.. Here are 2 alternatives to the phrase, “I know how you feel”

0 comments
Miranda and Adrian's Elephant

Perspective

We are all living in uncertainty. We are all scared. We are all doing the very best we can. And you have every right to your feelings, even if they seem silly.

0 comments
Palm tree over the ocean in late afternoon in Kaua'i, Hawai'i (MIranda Hernandez)

The grief of not getting what you didn’t want anyway

Life is full of choices, and we aren’t required to all choose the same way. It can still be hard sometimes, to lose the option of choice. This is still grief.

0 comments
If you ask a widow about the worst kind of grief, they are going to say it's losing a spouse. If you ask a bereaved parent about the worst kind of grief, they are going to say it's losing a child.  And they are both correct. Grief is not a competition.

Grief is not a Competition (B/W; multiple versions)

If you ask a widow about the worst kind of grief, they are going to say it’s losing a spouse. If you ask a bereaved parent about the worst kind of grief, they are going to say it’s losing a child. And they are both correct. Grief is not a competition.

0 comments
The words we use matter.

The Words We Use Matter

I think we are all familiar with the golden rule, but one of the most powerful things I have ever heard was to follow the platinum rule: treat people how THEY prefer to be treated.⁠ The words we use matter. And if you can’t say something kind, or supportive, maybe don’t say anything, at all.

0 comments

Collections of Posts on Special Topics

Title: Thoughts on Natural Birth | overlaid on image of Miranda's maternity photo with Adrian (Modern Lux Photography)
Title: Pregnancy After Loss | overlaid on image of Miranda's belly and Adrian's footprints (Two Little Starfish Photography)
Title: Postpartum Body After Loss | overlaid on image of Miranda's belly in Waimea Canyon, Kaua'i (Luna Kai Photography)
Title: People & Relationships | overlaid on image of bench in Winnipeg, British Columbia (Miranda Hernandez)
Title: Parenting After Loss | overlaid on image of Peanut's hands and Adrian's elephant (Miranda Hernandez)
Title: Mental Health After Loss | overlaid on image of Miranda and Adrian's elephant on the California coast (Synch Media)
Title: Guilt, Fault, & Blame | overlaid on image of fountain in San Francisco (Miranda Hernandez)
Title: Grieving Without God | overlaid on image of Miranda on the California coast (Synch Media)
Title: Grief Positivity | overlaid on image of the full moon (Miranda Hernandez)
Title: Grief Olympics or Comparing Grief | overlaid on image of sunset over Lake Tahoe (Miranda Hernandez)
Title: Financial Matters After Loss | overlaid on image of waterlilies (Miranda Hernandez)
Title: Death Positivity | overlaid on image of sunset over Kaua'i, Hawai'i (Miranda Hernandez)
Scroll to Top