I’ve always felt comfortable making the most natural and least invasive choices in my life, and so when I was pregnant with Adrian, it made sense that I would want a natural birth experience—unmedicated and with no interventions. Women have been having children for millennia, I reasoned. Pain was temporary, and this pain had a purpose. It was something I wanted to experience.
I didn’t go into things without any knowledge. I had a doula. I took a prenatal class in the Bradley method. I followed a popular nature-oriented blogger online and I interviewed midwives until I found the practice I thought was the perfect fit. I genuinely thought I was prepared for all possibilities. Unfortunately, the one thing my doula and my midwives and even the books never mentioned was the risk of stillbirth, or the fact that when in nature, mothers and children often die.
This page is a collection of my thoughts about various aspects of natural birth and the natural community. These are all things I wish I had known when I was pregnant for the first time. And please understand, I don’t hold anger for these facets of nature, and I don’t want to take informed choice away from anyone else in the community. I only want to make sure others are aware of the information I will always wish someone had given to me.
Thank you for reading.
This has been simmering in my mind for awhile and I think we need to talk about it. We live in a modern world and few of us eschew modern conveniences like toilet paper or electricity. But I conceived my son with the help of modern medicine, and I spent the rest of my pregnancy acting like I lived in another century.
I see people who have lived through such horrible things and experienced growth. And some of these people have come to the mistaken belief that these experiences are necessary; that it isn’t possible to build a good life unless it started on this traumatic foundation.
I don’t write this to scare you. I’ve been following your journey for the past several months. You remind me so very much of me; the old me. And this is why I write to you.
These tools were available to me and I chose not to use them. I didn’t choose for you to die, but my choices did not save you. I wish that I had saved you.