Happy Mother’s Day

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A post shared by Miranda Hernandez | Still Mom (@adrianselephant)

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Miranda’s Blog has been featured in Scary Mommy, Pregnancy After Loss Support Magazine, and Pursue Today. You can also find her on Quora and Medium.

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A light gray stuffed elephant nestled between sage-green military boots

Mar12

Identities

Miranda's black chiffon top and striped black and white skirt on the day of Adrian's funeral (Modern Lux Photographt)

Feb28

Flashes of Memory; Dressing for the Funeral

How do you get past losing a baby? You don't.

Feb26

How Do You Get Past Losing a Baby? (Quora)

I loved you from the moment I saw that second blue line.

Feb22

Imperfect Memories; the Second Blue Line

Still grieving? Still dead. STILL a parent.

Feb15

Still/Always

Four-year-old girl posing outside with her stuffed animal tiger. Image is close-up mainly of tiger in girl's arms (FamilyFotographer, Getty Images)

Feb05

I have a bone to pick with you, Daniel Tiger

"Rare" is little comfort when it happens to you.

Jan31

1 in 160 is NOT “Rare”

Miranda wearing her bracelets with an elephant charm.

Jan20

Life Thoughts from Subscription Boxes

It doesn't always have to be a new beginning.

Dec31

It Doesn’t Always Have to be a NEW Beginning

I am exactly who and where I am.

Dec29

Growing, Evolving…And Also Staying the Same

The words we use matter.

Dec06

The Words We Use Matter

Miranda holding Peanut and Adrian's elephant. Peanut's hand is wrapped around Adrian's elephant.

Nov12

Illness, Worry, & Reflections

Collage of pictures of pregnant woman and woman with child with title of Preeclampsia & Stillbirth on the top.

Nov03

The Ways we Discuss when we Disagree

Miranda holding Adrian's elephant on the coast in California.

Oct31

Go, Go, Pause

View from the top of Waimea Canyon, mountains covered in fog, Kaua'i, Hawai'i (Luna Kai Photography)

Oct04

What Would You Rather Not Know? (Quora)

Introducing the Sea Glass Parenting community; a community for parents after the loss of a child.

Sep30

Introducing the Sea Glass Parenting Community

Sep30

3 Years, 3 Months

The Phone Call you Never Expect to Receive; Supporting a Loved One After the Loss of a Child | overlaid on image of flowers (Miranda Hernandez)

Sep28

The Phone Call you Never Expect to Receive; Supporting a Loved One After the Loss of a Child

Screenshot of Scary Mommy Article "Sharing Pictures Of My Stillborn Son Is Not 'Gross'" with a photo of Adrian and Miranda in the background.

Sep26

The First Real Byline

Sharing about my deceased child doesn't mean that I'm stuck or broken or even that I am actively hurting. It simply means I am a parent.

Sep23

These are MY Words – Plagiarism in the Child Loss Community

Sep22

Getting ready for Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month

The Worst Part of Child Loss | Miranda holding Adrian's photo in the mountains of Kaua'i (Luna Kai Photography)

Jul26

The Worst Part

Miranda's maternity photo with Peanut. Adrian's footprints are visible in the tattoo on Miranda's ribs (Two Little Starfish)

Jul21

10 Things I Learned About Pregnancy After Loss (Pursue Today)

Palm tree over the ocean in late afternoon in Kaua'i, Hawai'i (MIranda Hernandez)

Jul19

The grief of not getting what you didn’t want anyway

Why I Support Banning Home Fetal Dopplers (Miranda's Blog) | overlaid on image of pregnant woman holding a doppler (Canva)

Jul10

Why I Support Banning Home Fetal Dopplers (Quora)

It's Always 29 June; Integration in Grief (Miranda's Blog) | Overlaid on image of wildflowers in Lake Tahoe (Miranda Hernandez)

Jun29

It’s Always 29 June; Integration in Grief

Miranda and Adrian's Elephant on the California coast (Synch Media)

Jun01

1 June 2020

Blue dawnflowers at St Katharines’s Parmoor, Buckinghamshire, England (Miranda Hernandez)

May23

Why I Didn’t “Just Adopt”

Miranda with Adrian's elephant and Peanut's mermaid in the hospital (Sarah Perry Photography)

May19

The Whirlwind of Pregnancy and Delivery After Loss

Miranda, Peanut, and Adrian's elephant in Newport Beach (photo used with permission)

May09

Always Two

Peanut with Adrian's Elephant

May07

Cranky

The Problem with Positivity (Miranda's Blog) | overlaid on image of dark red flowers in front of a a bright window (Miranda Hernandez)

Apr18

The Problem With Positivity

Wildflowers in South Lake Tahoe, California (Miranda Hernandez)

Apr17

There But for Grace

Miranda and Adrian's Elephant

Apr05

Perspective

Heart in the sand, Esquimalt Lagoon, Victoria, British Columbia (Miranda Hernandez)

Apr02

Daydreams

Miranda's and Peanut's feet with Adrian's elephant

Mar30

Images

Mar20

Why I Choose to Share Photos of My Dead Child on Social Media

Adrian's elephant in San Francisco

Mar14

Waiting

Still water on the Haruru Falls trail, Waitanga, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

Feb18

What is the Worst Sound in the World? (Quora)

Bench on the shore of South Lake Tahoe, California (Miranda Hernandez)

Feb08

Re-Evaluation

Survivor's Bias (Miranda's Blog) | overlaid on image of rock formation in Victoria, British Columbia (Miranda Hernandez)

Dec20

Survivor’s Bias

Sunset over the Bay of Islands, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

Dec17

Tone

Adrian James Hernandez Official Comment Policy, aka Things Not to Say To or About a Bereaved Parent (Miranda's Blog) | overlaid on image of wild plants (Miranda Hernandez)

Dec12

Adrian’s Elephant Official Comment Policy, aka Things Not to Say To or About a Bereaved Parent

Waves on Lake Tahoe, California (Miranda Hernandez)

Dec07

I Fail at Grief Olympics

Safe pregnancy booth providing resources on safe and informed pregnancy and stillbirth prevention

Nov24

Preventing Stillbirth Starts With Outreach

Wildflowers over Te Ti Bay (Miranda Hernandez)

Nov20

“It’s Not Your Fault”

Books on Pregnancy and Baby Education. These books are frustrating because they don't mention the risks and warning signs of stillbirth (Miranda Hernandez)

Oct15

Requests of a bereaved mother for all prenatal providers

Adrian's photo and candle in the Wave of Light, 2019

Oct15

Wave of Light 2019

Pylons under a pier in California (Miranda Hernandez)

Oct07

Why you shouldn’t ask a bereaved parent if they plan to “try again”

Found art of the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

Oct05

From one mother to another: A letter to the pregnant mother from one who is bereaved

Famous rock formation in the Bay of Islands, New Zealand. The feature is called Piercy Island, and is known for the "Hole in the Rock," but it looks like an elephant to me (Miranda Hernandez)

Oct04

Elephants and Well-Meaning Words

Sunset over Lake Tahoe (Miranda Hernandez)

Sep30

Stillbirth and Statistics: What Does it Mean to be “Rare”?

Tree branches over the Kawai'i coast (Miranda Hernandez)

Sep26

Imagination

California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

Sep23

Sea Lions

Adrian's Elephant and Peanut's Mermaid

Sep16

More Than One Spectrum

Tree limbs over a pond (Miranda Hernandez)

Sep09

Awareness Isn’t Enough – Preventing Suicide Starts with Understanding

Adrian's Elephant in his and Peanut's car seat

Sep06

Baggage

Miranda and Adrian's Elephant on the California coast

Aug17

17 August 2019

Flowers on the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

Aug06

The Things We Don’t Want to be True; Separating Victims of Tragedy from Ourselves

Empty storage container (Miranda Hernandez)

Aug03

Sleepless

Quarters on tile (Miranda Hernandez)

Aug02

Charlie’s Accident

Draft email (Miranda Hernandez)

Jul12

Two Birthdays

Bench on the shore of Lake Michigan, Chicago (Miranda Hernandez)

Jul08

The bluntness I wish I could share where it’s needed

Adrian and Elephant

Jun30

A Letter to My Son on His Second Birthday

Miranda, Peanut, and Adrian's Elephant (Miranda Hernandez)

Jun30

30 June 2019

Literature about tracking fetal movements (Miranda Hernandez)

Jun18

#MovementsMatter

Peanut's feet with Adrian's Elephant (Miranda Hernandez)

Jun17

First

Fenced walkway at Hatley Castle, Victoria, British Columbia (Miranda Hernandez)

Jun15

Paperwork and Taxes

Peanut and Adrian's Elephant (Sarah Perry Photography)

Jun12

13 June 2019

Miranda with Adrian's Elephant and Peanut's Mermaid (4th Trimester Bodies Project)

May12

Third Mother’s Day

Daisies in San Juan Capistrano, California (Miranda Hernandez)

May08

From one mother to another; a letter to the recently bereaved

Ariel view of the Bay of Islands, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

Apr29

More Than 8 Things

Mountains of Kaua'i, Hawai'i (Miranda Hernandez)

Apr23

Warning Signs Prior to Adrian’s Stillbirth

Fog on the ocean in Big Sur, California (Miranda Hernandez)

Apr11

Sometimes I DO want to give up, and you can’t fix that

My Experience with the 4th Trimester Bodies Project (Miranda's Blog) | overlaid on image of Miranda holding Adrian's elephant (4th Tri Bodies)

Apr10

My experience with the 4th Trimester Bodies Project

Midnight; Memories of Loss & Grief (Miranda's Blog) | overlaid on image of full moon at night (Miranda Hernandez)

Apr10

Midnight

Trees along the shore of Lake Michigan, Chicago

Apr03

Pregnancy After Loss; A Parable

Flowers at St Katharines's Parmoor, Buckinghamshire, England (Miranda Hernandez)

Apr02

My experience as a pseudo-rainbow baby

Sunset on the California Coast

Mar28

Strong

Mar28

Understanding

Valerian flowers in Big Sur, California (Miranda Hernandez)

Mar21

Why I track fetal movement religiously with my second pregnancy

Orchid cactus flowers in the gardens at San Juan Bautista

Mar14

Dear Nature-Based Childbirth Educator

Fence on the shore of Lake Michigan, Chicago

Mar11

Perspective of a Non-Believer Following the Death of a Child (Quora)

View of the beach in Monterey Bay, California

Mar08

Pleasant Surprise

Mar06

Why Getting Pregnant Easily Isn’t a Gift

Pier at Mission Bay Park, San Diego

Mar06

Boomerang

Pier in Paihia, New Zealand

Mar01

A Letter to My Mental Health Coordinator

Waves in Monterey Bay, California

Feb19

The Slowest Kind of Panic

Sunrise in Kaua'i. Hawai'i (Miranda Hernandez)

Feb15

Stillbirth and Statistics (Old Version)

Close up of a daisy (Miranda Hernandez)

Feb12

“If She Dies, I Die”

Bridge on the Haruru Falls trail, Waitanga, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

Feb11

The Fork in the Road

Bench on the Monterey Bay Coastal Trail

Feb10

Grieving My Child Without God

Mount Douglas Park Trail, Victoria, British Columbia

Feb10

This Timeline

Echoes; Reminders and Memories in Pregnancy After Loss (Miranda's Blog) | overlaid on image of Miranda's maternity photo, showing Adrian's footprints (Two Little Starfish)

Feb05

Echoes

Feb05

It’s Not About the Sunscreen

Ruins of Cannery Row 1, Monterey, California

Feb04

Necessary Fear

Sunset over Koloa, Kaua'i, Hawai'i (Miranda Hernandez)

Feb04

Death and Taxes – Why the Federal Government Doesn’t Consider My Son to be a Human Being

Miranda's maternity photo (Two Little Starfish)

Feb01

Why I am celebrating every moment of this current pregnancy

California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

Jan27

Please stop telling me everything is going to be “fine”

Amy Anne sitting on Miranda's bed, next to Adrian's ultrasound photos, Miranda's pregnant belly in the background (Modern Lux Photography)

Jan26

The Story of Amy Anne

Easter Lily flower (Miranda Hernandez)

Jan20

Claddagh Ring

Adrian's Elephant and Peanut's Mermaid

Jan20

My Daughter is Not a Rainbow; My Son was Not a Storm

View of a small rocky island in the Bay of Islands, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

Jan19

Yoga on a Saturday

Rustic staircase carved into a trail in the Bay of Islands, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

Jan14

Hard Day

Rear view of a wooden bench looking out over Victoria, British Columbia at Sunset (Miranda Hernandez)

Jan13

Waiting Rooms

Adrian's Elephant and Peanut's Mermaid

Jan08

8 January 2019

Pier in South Lake Tahoe, California

Jan05

Grief Isn’t a Disease

Jan01

1 January 2019

Miranda with Adrian's Elephant during Adrian's Memorial on the California coast (@saltwaterandclay)

Jul22

22 July 2018

Friday the 13th (Miranda's Blog) | overlaid on image of Miranda with Adrian's footprint tattoo (photo used with permission)

Jul13

Friday the 13th

Daisies and Bluebonnets on Adrian's casket (Modern Lux Photography)

Jul11

11 July 2018

Trail in Pinnacles National Park, California (Miranda Hernandez)

Jul08

Not Okay

Miranda and Adrian's Elephant on the California coast (Synch Media)

Jun30

Second Eulogy

Miranda and Elephant on the California coast

Jun30

A Letter to My Son on His First Birthday

Adrian's Elephant

Jun28

28 June 2018, 8:55pm

Miranda and Elephant on the California coast

Jun22

22 June 2018, 9:01am

Miranda and Elephant on the beach in California

Jun21

21 June 2018, 4:58pm

Adrian's Elephant on Keālia Beach in Kaua'i, Hawai'i (Miranda Hernandez)

Jun18

18 June 2018, 8:47 pm

Driftwood log on the shore of Nukoli'i Beach park, Kaua'i, Hawai'i (Miranda Hernandez)

Jun07

Not Fucking Fair

Adrian's Elephant in the Airport (Miranda Hernandez)

May28

Home

Sunset on the California coast (Miranda Hernandez)

May21

Sunrise

Miranda in Waimea Canyon State Park, Kaua'i, Hawai'i

May04

My Seventh Trimester Body

Miranda and Adrian's Elephant on the California coast

Apr25

Birth

Miranda and Adrian's Elephant at Esquimalt Lagoon, Victoria, British Columbia

Mar30

Equidistance

Annual flowers in Assiniboine Park, Winnipeg, Manitoba (Miranda Hernandez)

Mar29

A letter to my roommate, who puts up with far more than she deserves

Adrian Street sign in San Diego, California

Mar18

San Diego

View from cliffs on the California coast

Feb27

A Letter to the Woman Who Wants the “Perfect Birth”

Dandelions over Te Ti Bay, Waitanga, New Zealand (Miranda Hernandez)

Feb23

I am a Mother

Adrian's things in Miranda's new home

Jan22

Humor

Roses on rocks in Hatley Park, Victoria, British Columbia

Jan15

Everything Happens.

Bluebonnets on the California coast

Jan15

Nature Isn’t Perfect

Car tire on the road

Jan14

Second Hand

Burning candle at St Katharines’s Parmoor, Buckinghamshire, England (Miranda Hernandez)

Jan14

Desire

Sanddollars on Adrian's Elephant

Jan10

Sea Shells

Sign found on sidewalk

Jan10

Signs

Trail in Pinecrest, California

Jan04

Life

Dec29

Pre-Pregnancy Jeans

Dec23

I Drink a of Tea

Sunset in Arizona

Dec02

I Miss My Phone

Rose on the ground at Hatley Park, Victoria, British Columbia

Dec02

I woke up out of a sound sleep with these words on my lips

Toy car hidden in the grass

Nov23

Favorite Holiday

Wildflowers and Adrian's Elephant

Nov11

On Sunlight and Strength

Bench in California (Miranda Hernandez)

Nov10

Things I Didn’t Get to Say

Dahlia flowers at St Katharines’s Parmoor, Buckinghamshire, England (Miranda Hernandez)

Nov05

What Happens When a Type A Personality Grieves

Cherry blossoms in Victoria, British Columbia (Miranda Hernandez)

Nov01

Dear Pregnant Woman in My Office

Oct29

29 October 2017

Miranda with Adrian's name sign from Landon's Legacy Retreat, Whiteshell Provincial Park, Manitoba

Sep30

30 September 2017

Explore more of Adrian's Elephant