Miranda on the Pacific Coast in California (SynchMedia)

I wrote letters to my son throughout my pregnancy. When he died, I continued to write. It had become a habit. I wonder sometimes if I write for him or for me. I think the answer is — yes.

Letters to Adrian are lightly edited for clarity and mechanics, and to protect privacy. They are otherwise presented exactly as written.

Trigger warning; please note: Some of the letters presented here discuss thoughts of suicide. I am not now actively suicidal, but there was a point in my grief where it was a very real possibility. I include these entries because they are an important part of the story. If you are feeling suicidal, I encourage you to please seek help. I did. I still do.