Life as a Grieving Mother

A collection of pieces on different aspects of being a bereaved mother.

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Title: Life as a Grieving Mother: Physical Body After Loss | overlaid on image of Miranda in the mountains of Kaua'i (Luna Kai Photography)

Physical Body After Loss

The hardest physical sensation was the one without a name. It was the thing I felt when I woke up in the morning and my son wasn’t crying. It was the feeling in my arms when they curled around the teddy bear from the hospital, but still felt empty. It was the physical feeling of absence. It felt so heavy.

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Title: Life as a Grieving Mother: Spiritual Feelings & Beliefs | overlaid on image of Miranda and Adrian's elephant on the beach in Kaua'i (Luna Kai Photography)

Spiritual Feelings & Beliefs

When Adrian died, I again reexamined my beliefs….I realized that even in the face of the finality of his death, these ceremonies still didn’t resonate with me.

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Title: Life as a Grieving Mother: Suicidal Thoughts After Loss | overlaid on image of Miranda at sunset on the California coast (Synch Media)

Suicidal Feelings After Loss

Before Adrian died, I didn’t understand suicide. I didn’t understand what could cause someone to want to end their life. After he died, I realized how much was missing in that conversation — it wasn’t that I wanted to kill myself; it was that I felt as if the important parts of me had already died.

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Miranda’s Full Story:

💙🐘💙 Miranda’s Story is an account of my pregnancy with Adrian and my life after his death. 💙🐘💙
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